Forgiveness

I am reading a book on forgiveness.  Spcifically, "The Challenge of Forgiveness as Faced by
Victims of Betrayal and Abuse".  It was written by a friend of mine, Robert Grant and I helped with some editing and we had discussions about it while he was writing it.  Sometimes long discussions.  He asks the question "what is required of us in terms of forgiveness?" and then goes through several belief systems and their opinions on forgiveness.  Interesting background stuff. 

But the meat of it is how do we forgive those who do horrible things to us, and do we have to forgive to heal?   Abuse survivors, having experienced how terrible people can be to each other, forever have a knowledge most people deny or don't think about.   This sets them apart from our culture - they have eaten of the tree of knowledge and  they cannot go back to unknowing.   This is the realm of shamans, healers and visionaries in more primitive cultures.  That knowedge was recognized as special and more complete than the ordinary man or woman.

Once a person can transform that knowledge into a growth experience, and not everyone can, then they can  use that knowledge to understand that terrible things happened to those who abuse, and their repeating that behavior is a way they can process it.  But that alone is not necessarily enough to forgive.  We are responsible for our actions after all.  This is all very interesting to me.  I work with people that have been traumatized, some in very brutal ways that are not exactly dinner table conversation.  What can I tell them about forgiveness?

Simon Weisenthal said "Forgetting is something that time takes care of but forgiveness is an act of volition and only the sufferer is qualified to make the decision."


more on this later...

My daughter, serendipity, poetry

My Daughter
As we sat in the living room, absorbed by the Laker game, our daughter walked through the living room, one arm akimbo ala fin, and rolling her eyes exclaimed, "I'm a shark."  She turned and walked through the other way with the same pose swinging her head from side to side, and headed to her bedroom.  We are treated to these scenes a few times a day.  We swear she is a fairy or a nymph come down to our family to keep us from taking ourselves too seriously!

Serendipity
The serendipitous part of the day was twofold.  I met another homeschool mom whose daughter is in gymnastics with my daughter.  As we spoke I found out that she was a dietician specializing in diabetes and weight loss surgery.  I mentioned I was a Marriage and Family Therapist, and she said "I've been looking for a good therapist to see some of my Patients"  She explained that some people come in for weight loss surgery 2 or 3 times and said "they have more going on than surgery can fix."  We talked about how to talk to someone about therapy without offending them, and I left her 5 business cards. 

Then, we had a Notary over to witness some signatures and when I told her what I did, she was thrilled.  She said she had been looking for a therapist for her daughter, and is going to call me when she finds out when she can  come in.  So,  I keep putting the word out to the universe, and I keep getting answered.  Amazing.

Poetry
I have also been reading my brothers' third book of poetry.  I love his verse, and yet haven't spoken to him in years.  I miss him, and must make a point to write him.  There is a poem about my Dad's death - he was there along with my younger brother when they disconnected the respirator and he died.   My mother claimed that she couldn't  be there (which I will also write about someday), and I would have killed to be there, but was 8 months pregnant with Annalisa and my OB said no way.

I will share some poetry one of these days - have some in the works and would like comments.  So, I sign off for now.

Therapy

Spent the day working, and considering the great cruelty humans perpetrate upon one another.  Abused kids are hard to see, but had a breakthrough in trust with one today.  The Rewards are tremendous.

As far as Art goes... made some Jewelry over the weekend in preparation for a sale I am having the first weekend in June.  I try to make enough money to allow me to continue to buy supplies, and continue creating.  I can assure people they will not find anything like mine elsewhere!  I work priimarily in glass and sliver.I also plan to do some more polymer clay beads.  I am trying to clean out our walk in closet to make it into a Polymer Clay studio.  My studio attached to the garage (that my wonderful husband, Virgil made for me) is too dusty for clay, but good for my mixed media stuff and beadwork.  Out there, the dogs lay by my feet and the music can be loud.  Doesn't get much better than that!  The kids tend to interrupt me less there and time passes without knowing  it.  In the zone of creativity. 

Isaiah (my son) have been in conflict more than usual lately.  I found myself having little patience with him, and I think he has been jealous of the attention his sister got last week when she was ill.  Today, he apologized for acting like he had been, and I was able to affirm that I would have more patient.  The beauty of being able to be honest with feelings, and admit you are wrong even with your kids is so healthy.  Too bad we have to get there before we can agree.  We can keep trying. 

So, these are the rambling of the Cruse Muse today.

Blog number1

My first blog!  I want to use this blog to explore and examine my art, myself, and homeschooling.  We are nearly finished with the first year of homeschool.  Overall, it has been a sucess.  Isaiah just to the state achievement tests and is quite a bit better than last year.  They are both thriving - they are curious and motivated, and enjoy having the world as their classroom.  Our independent study consisted of: Elephant Seals on the central coast and their birthing process.  We actually saw some that were just born.  We will go again to see other aspects of Elephant Seal life.  When we got home they each had to find 3 facts about Elephant seals on the internet.  What a cool way to learn.  We also went out to the Feline Breeding Compound in Rosamond to see the rare big cats of the world.  Where else can you see panthers, mountain lions, snow leopards, and many other big cats?  All  of these aniimals are endangered. 

I will be facilitating a Coming Home Project Retreat in San Diego at the end of June.  This is a dream come true, as I have been passionate about working with vets of Iraq and Afghanistan, and the incredible trauma they suffer. The government has not nearly kept up with the need and so non profits have stepped in.   This is a particularly good group who work holistically with vets and their families to integrate them back into the community through support groups, recreational activities, and art.  I can't wait.